Review 50 Ways to Play, BDSM For Nice People

50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People by Dob Macleod
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I didn't like BDSM before I read this short volume and I still don't like it.  I have been flabbergasted as to the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey with women.  Then today I noticed this book in a side bar advertisement at Goodreads.  My first thought was oh great someone is going to cash in on the FSoG mania and end up getting people injured.  I checked out the book on Amazon and the Kindle version was only $2.99 so I decided to read it out of curiosity.  EDIT 8/11/2012: The price for the Kindle edition of this book is now $8.99.  That is no longer in the curiosity price range. 

As I mentioned above, I really dislike BDSM.  I don't consider myself a prude, but I just don't feel that pain and humiliation have any place in a loving sexual relationship.  I will grudgingly give this book credit that for a couple looking to dabble in BDSM, this is brief introduction--although I have some serious reservations.  I  would have been far happier if this book was simply devoted to a little kinky sex and role playing.  You know, flip a coin to see who is going to be the dominant, "yes master" giggle, restraints loosely tied, a playful slap on the ass.  All good fun stuff with no pain and no humiliation.  Well let's put it this way, this book got far beyond simple role playing and fooling around for a little extra spice.  Its going for the real deal, although the tamer versions, sort of BDSM lite. It delves into BDSM far more than I am willing to play, although for the couple just wanting to role play, you could certainly pick up ideas here--you don't have to do everything stated in the book.

The book is very short, print length of 112 pages, it is concise--except as noted below, and fairly well written although it does have a certain rushed quality to it.  The book describes the various gear, rudimentary methods, and some cautions. It even suggests common house hold implements to replace the expensive gear and sex toys.  Much of the book seemed to be vanilla sex (the pain free kind that I really love) hurriedly adapted to BDSM.  It struck me that the authors are trying to ride FSoG's coattails before it becomes yesterday's thrill.   Reading this book will not make you a master practitioner of BDSM.  It will give you an introduction, and in my mind there in lies the danger of 50 Ways To Play.

Because the book is about real BDSM, albeit the kinder and gentler form, and not just simple role playing, I don't feel that the authors offer up sufficient cautions about what the couple is embarking on.   The first few pages almost come off sounding like, "if you want to save your sex life, you have to try BDSM."  I honestly believe that most people's sex lives will do just fine without any BDSM.  So here is a list of reservations I have about this book.

--Insufficient cautions that BDSM is not for everyone.

--Insufficient explanation of the psychology of the dominant and submissive and how to handle the roles.

--Insufficient explanation on limits, safe words, and the safe - sane - consensual concepts.  It is mentioned but almost in passing.

--Insufficient explanation on safety.  One doesn't simply pick up a whip and start lashing someone's ass with it.

--No discussion of safe sex methods.  The word condom does not appear in this book.

--No discussion of the need for contraception.  Yes it should be obvious, but it does not hurt to remind people.

--No discussion on the potential dangers of an over enthusiastic dominant.

--No discussion on being sober and in a good frame of mind.  BDSM, anger, alcohol and drugs do not mix.

To the book's credit it did offer a discussion on Aftercare, where the couple express care and love for each other.  Like the rest of the book the chapter was brief, but at least it did provide a fleeting notion that some tenderness for each other may be in order.


To be honest, I do not like this book. I feel that it is basically a vanilla sex book (a good thing) which has been BDSM-ized to ride the cash wave of FSoG.  I don't like the attitude that "OH try it, you will love it" as though BDSM was nothing more than some kinky technique on the order of nude massage or a really nifty sexual position.    BDSM is a very intense method of sexual expression that can result in physical and psychological harm to the participants if incorrectly done and I question the wisdom of providing a rushed how to manual without adequately describing the dangers inherent in the activities and the psychological atmosphere of sado-masoshism.   This book is an introduction, and I don't feel that BDSM is something that one should fool with based on a 112 page cursory introduction.  For anyone seriously contemplating purchasing this book, read the Wikipedia article on BDSM and follow the links.  Caution, some of the information and images provided in Wikipedia are disturbing...exactly what this book lacks.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM


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